Beto Significantly Sweatier, More Generic

Presidential hopeful Robert Francis O’Rourke, colloquially known as ‘Beto’, unveiled a new campaign strategy that he hopes will achieve greater sweatiness and vagueness. “I say ‘real Americans’ a lot,” said the drenched O’Rourke. “And anytime somebody brings up a political issue, I just mention my son, Ulysses. Isn’t he cute?” O’Rourke’s campaign personnel cited an […]

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Cruz and O’Rourke Debate in San Antonio

Midterm elections are just around the corner, and candidates rush to earn support from voters. That means candidates begin raising money, meeting potential voters, hosting political rallies, and other events to prepare for election day. On Tuesday evening, the second debate between Ted Cruz and Beto O’Rourke was televised. In this debate, Ted Cruz was […]

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