A Cut Above

A good barbershop is hard to find. There are a few joints that cater to men, but almost comically so, with game shows on the television and Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions on the coffee tables. Salons and chain stores tend to be a bit classier, if less ‘manly’, and make it easy to get a […]

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Five Shockingly Conservative Novels

If you’re looking for books to read that are utterly free from sex or violence, then you’re going to have to ignore a big chunk of good literature that includes all epic poetry and the Bible. In the following novels, discerning readers may find little gems of traditionalism, individualism, and even a little Hobbesian philosophy—provided […]

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Beto Significantly Sweatier, More Generic

Presidential hopeful Robert Francis O’Rourke, colloquially known as ‘Beto’, unveiled a new campaign strategy that he hopes will achieve greater sweatiness and vagueness. “I say ‘real Americans’ a lot,” said the drenched O’Rourke. “And anytime somebody brings up a political issue, I just mention my son, Ulysses. Isn’t he cute?” O’Rourke’s campaign personnel cited an […]

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Professors Hate Own Field of Study

For his literature course “ENGL-1234: The American Novel,” English professor Erik Woodcock intentionally excludes all American novels. “All that Hemingway and Faulkner and Oates–it just gets so boring,” Woodcock said. “Let’s just look at some Chinese calligraphy and spend a few weeks on V for Vendetta and call it a day.” The United States deserves […]

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Indian Man Accused of White Supremacy

Local Trinity student and military history enthusiast Niraj Sengupta came under fire recently for alleged white supremacist sympathies. Sengupta’s interest in World War II military history has led many liberals to believe that he secretly harbors a hatred of all nonwhite races. “He kept talking to me about something called the pickelhelm,” one student told […]

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Looking Back on Trinity’s 150th Anniversary

There’s a barber shop in Waxahachie called the White House run by an old barber named Raul who’s been there for decades. I must have visited the place a dozen times to get my hair cut before I mentioned that I attend Trinity University when I’m not back home. Raul stopped clipping and tottered away […]

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Trinity’s Greatest Threat is the Student Body

University President Anderson and I agree very little on most issues. He’s an incredibly friendly man who handles everything with resilient grace, but we conservatives tend to be respectfully wary of liberal university officials. Last Friday, however, I gained a newfound sympathy for Anderson’s position when I sat through an onslaught of outrageous demands that […]

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