Satire

Indian Man Accused of White Supremacy

Local Trinity student and military history enthusiast Niraj Sengupta came under fire recently for alleged white supremacist sympathies.

Sengupta’s interest in World War II military history has led many liberals to believe that he secretly harbors a hatred of all nonwhite races. “He kept talking to me about something called the pickelhelm,” one student told the Tower. “I know he’s not white, but something’s fishy here.”

Other reports indicate that Sengupta frequently enjoys wartime novels such as All Quiet on the Western Front and Catch-22.

Sengupta, whose family hails from India, did not deny the accusations outright. “I’m brown,” Sengupta said. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

Alamo Heights race studies expert Clarice Woakes helped dispel some of the confusion. “Some people still stick to very outdated, restrictive definitions of racism. Today, we now understand that being a white supremacist has nothing to do with being white,” Woakes said. “Also, I think Indians are technically Caucasian. Or Aryan? Who knows? I bet there’s something there.”

Evidence for Sengupta’s alleged racism continues to unfold. “Stunningly, it turns out that Indians earn more than white people,” one researcher pointed out. “Sounds like privilege to me.”

1 comment on “Indian Man Accused of White Supremacy

  1. Tyrone Jiminés

    Can you please cite the researcher you mentioned? You cant. What an embarrassment! We at Trinity are inclusive of everyone except for those who we disagree with. Its clear that he is privileged because of his well-built body and tall physique, which marginalizes people of shortness and corpulence. His moustache is pretty cool, but he os still a white supremacist, for it is not a midnight black moustache, but rather a nightshade black moustache.

    His black freckle under his right eye is eyecatching, and not in a good way. He thinsk he can get more privilege from that patch of melanin, but he is sore sore sorely mistaken. I demand to see this student expelled, stripped of assets, and banished to the island of amorous male-on-male scorpions for the rest of his days. May he be a testament to what happens when u mess with the inclusivity of Trinity!

    Like

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